Becoming… But Still a Little Knuck If You Buck

Sis, God is still working on me!

let me tell you what happened.

I was in the car the other day, just minding my business, when I got a text. And before I even get into it, I already know you’re wondering what it said.

I’m not going to repeat it word for word, but just know… it was one of those messages that looks normal at first glance, but the more you read it, the more you’re like—

Hmm.

Like… it was rude. 

It wasn’t kind. 

And it definitely had some tone on it.

You know those messages? Where it’s like, oh… okay. Noted.

And if we’re being honest, sometimes when someone says something a little off the wall, your reaction is very much knuck if you buck. Like… immediately. No processing. No grace. Just vibes!

And in this particular moment, I was dealing with none other than… Ms. Trying My Patience.

So I’m sitting there rereading the message like, is this a joke? And right after that, I had another thought—oh… this might be a test.

Because I’ve really been trying to grow in my relationship with the Lord, and I’m starting to realize the tests don’t always come looking big and obvious. Sometimes they show up in regular, everyday interactions—tone, timing, a little comment that could go left if you let it.

And I think what threw me off the most is that I’m a girl’s girl. I’m naturally kind, I’m thoughtful, and I’m very aware of how I speak to people. So when someone isn’t operating like that, it always catches me off guard.

And I don’t like when people come to me with foolishness or drama. Like… it really throws me off. It’s actually kind of crazy to me.

And Ms. Trying My Patience did exactly that.

So now I’m sitting there like… okay. I need a second.

Because yes, I’ve grown. Yes, I’ve been walking with the Lord. But I was definitely annoyed.

Like… girl what??

Now if you know me, you know I don’t always just let things go.

I read the message again.

Then again… slower this time.

Then I sat there like, okay… what exactly is bothering me here?

And of course… I started drafting a response.

Because I don’t just text back—I compose. I’m a writer, so you already know… it was a good one.

If I would have called her, she probably would’ve been crying—and God would be up there like, now Simone… after all this work??

So in very polite, very summarized terms—because let’s keep it cute—I basically said:

Girl… this is kind of strange. Please don’t text me again.

And just for context—this is NOT someone I’m close to. We’re not friends. I don’t know her like that.

Which is why I was even more confused.

Because clearly… she was a little too comfortable.

And I really did try to pause.

I told myself, “Okay Simone, just sit with it. You don’t have to respond right now. You’re growing.”

But before I could even fully talk myself into it…

I sent it.

Now this is the part that really took me out.

Because not too long ago, my therapist asked me, “Well… what would Jesus do?”

And I remember sitting there thinking…

Girl.

Let’s be serious.

Because Jesus knows me well enough to know I was not about to let that fly.

Like… be so for real.

But honestly, the part that stood out to me wasn’t even that I sent the message.

It was what happened after.

Because usually, once I say something, I’m in it.

I’m thinking about how it came across. 

Re-reading the message. 

Replaying the situation.

Lowkey waiting to see how it’s received.

It becomes a whole thing.

But this time?

It didn’t.

I sent it… and just kept going.

No overthinking.

No spiral.

No going back to reread it ten times.

I just let it be what it was.

And that’s when I had a moment.

Like…

Oh.

Something actually shifted.

And I also realized something else.

If someone felt that comfortable coming to me like that… then maybe it’s time for a little audit.

Of who has access to me.

Of who I’m allowing into my space.

Because I’m telling you… it was wild!

Because for me, growth used to feel loud. Like I had to actively choose differently every single time. Like I had to manage myself into becoming better.

But this?

This felt quiet.

Did I handle it perfectly? No.

God is still working on me. Clearly.

But I also didn’t lose myself in it.

I didn’t carry it.I didn’t let it sit in my mind all day.I didn’t turn it into something bigger than it needed to be.

And that’s new.

I’m starting to realize that blooming doesn’t always look like doing everything right.

Sometimes it looks like things just… not having the same hold on you anymore.

The reaction is still there, but it’s lighter.

The moment still happens, but it doesn’t linger.

And maybe that’s what growth actually looks like.

Not waking up one day completely different, but slowly, quietly…

not going all the way back to who you used to be.

And honestly?

I’ll take that!