I Blame It On My Therapist

Well… not really blame. More like thank — but in that “you just called me out and I wasn’t ready” kind of way.

It all started during a therapy session a few years ago. We were talking about purpose, calling, and that strange, heavy feeling of being stuck. I remember saying how I’d always felt this quiet pull toward birth work — that something about caring for mothers and babies felt sacred, almost holy. For context, I had already been a birth and postpartum doula for about nine years at that point (we are really pushing year 11, my goodness).

And then, mid-sentence, I casually said, “Yeah, God actually told me to go into nursing years ago so I could become a midwife.”

My therapist stopped me. Literally froze. Then she tilted her head, looked straight into the camera, and said,

“Let’s pause — because it sounds like we may be operating in disobedience.”

Y’all… I sat there staring at the screen like, Excuse me?

But the moment she said it, something cracked open inside of me. Tears started forming before I even knew what was happening. She wasn’t being harsh — she was being honest. And deep down, I knew she was right.

The Call I Ignored

Let’s rewind.

I was in the second semester of my sophomore year of undergrad when God told me — clear as day to switch my major to nursing. I can still picture where I was on campus. It wasn’t a passing thought or a wild idea. It was direction. Assignment. Calling.

But I didn’t listen. Ignored Him and kept going on with my life. How disrespectful, right?

I told myself, “I’ve already come too far.” I had a major, a plan, and a timeline. I didn’t want to start over. I didn’t want to look “behind.” I didn’t want to disappoint people or delay graduation. I wanted the version of success that looked perfect on paper. Remember, I told y’all before that I am a recovering perfectionist.

So I kept going — on my path.

I built a good life, did meaningful work, checked off goals, got awards, and looked successful. But underneath all of it, there was this quiet, restless ache. Because when you know God told you to do something and you don’t listen, there’s always that feeling of unease beneath everything else — a huge reminder that something’s missing.

When God Circles Back

Fast forward almost a decade later to that online therapy session… the one where my therapist lovingly stopped me mid-ramble.

When she said, “It sounds like disobedience,” my heart dropped. Instantly, I thought about all the times I’d prayed for clarity. All the seasons where I begged God to “show me what’s next.”

And there He was, saying, “I already told you.”

That realization humbled me. I had been asking God for new instructions while ignoring His first one.

It wasn’t that I didn’t hear Him. It’s that I didn’t trust that I could start again and still win. I thought obedience would cost me time, but what I didn’t realize is — obedience was the shortcut.

The Plot Twist

So, I finally said yes.

I went back, finished the prerequisites I once avoided, and applied to an accelerated nursing program. And let me tell you — God wasted no time reminding me that His timing is still perfect.

I got accepted into both nursing and midwifery school. Full circle.

It’s funny — I used to think “starting over” meant failure. But what if starting over is actually obedience in motion? What if it’s not you going backward, but finally catching up to what God said all along?

The Lesson

Here’s what I’ve learned:Obedience will always ask for your humility before it offers you reward. You might cry, question, and wrestle with your pride. But eventually, peace rushes in — that deep, steady kind of peace that feels like exhaling after years of holding your breath.

Now, every time I sit in class, every time I learn something new about birth, healing, or the miracle of life, I feel God smiling — like, “See? This was always it.”

So yeah, I blame it on my therapist… but really, I thank her and honor her. Because that one session helped me stop running from my calling and start walking in it. I’m no longer ignoring God, I’m following him without all the questions.

God has a funny way of bringing things full circle — even if He has to send a therapist through a laptop screen to remind you.

Reflection Prompt:Is there something God told you to do that you’ve been delaying because it feels inconvenient, uncomfortable, or “too late”? What would happen if you just said yes — today?

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A Note From Simone:Writing this reminded me how gentle God is with our process. He doesn’t shame us for taking the long route — He just waits for our surrender. If you’re standing at the edge of something He’s been nudging you toward, trust that what’s on the other side of obedience is so much sweeter than the comfort you’re clinging to.

Love,